yellowpigs.net

Geode

Sara Smollett

October 4, 1997

wearing gorgeous dresses and it's cold outside
so they wear coats
which they will shed at first opportunity
(snakes shedding their skin to make room for the new)
showing their beauty their sameness

and suddenly out of this ordinary moment
though no moment is ever ordinary of course
I am struck by a memory

a small girl looking at a geode
in a moment of what she believes to be
profundity
says that she will always place her geode the
"other way"
not crystal side out but showing the plain exterior
so that others will wonder why she has this ordinary
unesthetic rock on her desk
only those who look will see its beauty
she thinks the outside is just as pretty because it is part of
the inside

things change
(chameleons change their color to blend in)
leaves color when they change
and die

I think that girl was afraid of vulnerability
and because of this she was vulnerable
never able to let herself be loved
always keeping beauty and the real self
hidden away
armored
(turtles hide their heads in their shells for protection)
home

she was right though
she should be able to keep the physical beauty inside
only if people look
and does she want them to

the girls in their dresses leave
saying we're not bringing keys
don't lock the door
but she already has
(funny how they all have my face)

Maybe she still is afraid.